i was challenged this week with the posture i choose to live my life. i could choose to live with two tight fists coming together. nothing can get in. i am in control. “if i could just get the right job, the right house, the right car, another raise, if my kids would just get this stage….then i could let go. then i would be there. life would be good. i will be happy.” have you ever thought these things? i have. but we so quickly realize we never really get “there”.
maybe we have our hands folded per say. nothing can get in. we have given up. live complacently. “i know there is more out there but now is not the time. i’m not the right person. God can’t use me.” ever thought these things? yep, me too.
or i could choose to live with open hands. hands apart, palms up. a release of everything i have. “take everything out that is not pleasing to You. place whatever you want in my hands. i trust you.” yes, easier said than done. but exactly where God wants me. a surrendered life, open hands, trusting Him that whatever he places in my hands He will give me the strength and wisdom in how to move forward. whether it is functioning on little sleep because of a sleepless night due little people adjusting to new rooms, attempting to find our way around a new town, feeling lonely, helping me give grace and truth to the kids when parenting them. he will best help me when i have open hands.
so i sit. i pray. i listen.
and with great faith… at times wavering.
i open my hands.