If you know me at all or have been reading my blog for awhile then you know I am a runner. (If you are new to my blog, then welcome! and yes I am a runner.) Nothing stellar, no records being broke but it’s “my thing”. It’s what I do to keep in shape, to eat what I want, to relieve stress and to keep discipline in my life. I have a competitive side in me that comes out when I run. I’ve been known to throw an elbow or two to edge out that one girl I’ve been keeping my eye on the whole race right at the finish line. Oh yes, true. So I’m a runner. And it’s a good thing.
I often find myself running through life though. Rushing here and there, sometimes for no reason at all. Just to get done I guess. To then move on to the next thing…and rush some more. I have a tendency to push things along faster than they should go. Whether it be people, relationships, decisions. I’m often thinking “we should be here not way back here. So let’s speed things up and start running to get to where we should be.” Notice the use of the word “should”. It’s a word that can cause a lot of guilt, heart felt tension and trouble. A wise friend once told me “Don’t ‘should’ yourself”! Yes, it’s not a good thing. I often find myself running to talk to someone else about a difficult situation or a frustration before I take time to talk to Him about it. I don’t wait on Him to listen or instill wisdom in me. I don’t know why I am running, rushing. Maybe it’s the lie I’m believing if I get there first then I’ll know how to handle it, what to do, I’ll be in control. Maybe it’s the fear of slowing down and waiting. Will it all fall apart if I slow down, if I stop? Will I fall apart? Maybe.
And then I read this…
Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
What I love about this verse is that it states it twice, just in case we didn’t get it the first time…WAIT! Wait on who? The Lord. Not on someone or something else. But wait on Him. Secondly, I love that it says be strong and take heart. Because gosh friends, it’s hard to wait! It takes strength and heart to wait when we don’t want to, when we don’t know how long we will be waiting or even what we are waiting for. He knows that, He gets it and so He reminds us to be strong and take heart…and wait for Him.
I’m thankful He has shown me this but it is hard to swallow. Because like I said I am runner and I just want to think through it quickly, figure it out what this means, run with it and be done. Race over. Oh, I am a runner but I can be a slow learner.
I want to wait on Him. I want to walk humbly before Him. Show me. Show me what this means in my everyday “running around like a crazy girl” world. My confidence is in Him. Yes, He has gone before me. But I find more comfort in knowing He is walking with me and will wait with me even when I need to stop.