inspiration, life
comments 8

like a good cup of coffee

Hello! Today we are jumping into Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. For next several Thursdays we will be discussing the book. I would love to hear your thoughts, what you are learning about yourself, what you are being challenged by as you read. This is my second time reading through and I love how I am catching new things. I’m excited to see how God will use this book in each of our lives.
So let’s go!

There were SO MANY good things that caught my eye and pulled on my heart strings in the first chapters. If it is possible I would describe myself as a “in process” good girl. I think much of what was explained in the good girl ways is where I used to be but I am slowly climbing out. Or at least I see it now, where before I was oblivious to the following:

  • Always worrying.
  • Always performing for others.
  • Always getting lost in what others wanted from me, expected of me.
  • I was insecure on the inside but on the outside I was easy going and a “good girl”.
  • I didn’t know who “me” really was because I was a different person for different people.
  • I always felt the need to “just try harder”.
  • I was not living to please Him but others. Many others.

And the list could go on and on. It was tiring to keep up with it all. And it was a crazy maker. Therefore, I came to a point where it all needed to stop. I wanted to be 100%  Me for Him. No one else.

Over the last several years I can say that my ways have changed a bit. My mind is more  focused on an audience of One than everyONE. I fight those “try harder” lies and performance lies with His good and pure truth. Like a strong cup of coffee I soak in the truth that He is enough, more than enough. I don’t need to DO anything, try harder, be a certain person, always have it together to make Him or others love me more. Just be 100% me.

Now I haven’t arrived or anything like that. I still easily fall back into the performance trap. Wanting to be the best wife, mom, friend, Christian, neighbor, daughter, sister there ever was. Wanting to have it all together, at all times. It’s exhausting, I tell you! But when I feel the pull to go down that road I recognize it quicker now. I know the pattern and I know it doesn’t work. It’s a crazy maker more like it. I steer myself back to the truth. Because I know I am not believing truth in the moment. I am being driven by fear. Fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of not looking a certain way, fear of messing up.

I love how Emily said: (pg.19)

Fear drives.
But love leads. 

When I feel that out of control feeling, when I am just going, going, going and I don’t even know why or where? I know it is out of fear. I don’t want to stop going out of the fear of failure, disappointment, ruining my reputation that more than anything is built up in my head. This fear is a driving force that will eventually take me out. But when I think of being led in love there is a confidence that is almost indescribable. I walk with assurance. I am known fully and the pressure is gone. Like a good cup of strong coffee I soak in the truth.

ahhhh….it is good.

I want to stay in this place of surrender to Him and not to everyone and everything else. But it takes discipline and time to re work those lies and those patterns to stay in His truth.

What do you think? What does being a good girl look like for you? Are you being driven by fear or lead in love?
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts! Let’s chat…

Filed under: inspiration, life


I'm a wife to 1 amazing husband. A mom to 1 little dude and 2 girlie girls. A follower of the ONE who saved me. A daughter to 2 wonderful people. A sister to 1. A friend to many. A runner because that's what I do to keep from not going crazy. And the CEO of this little part of the world we call home.


  1. My book still has not arrived :( but now I am even more anxious to read after hearing your thoughts! I plan to jump back here this weekend and add anything if the circuit rider on the horse decides to ride the book to my front door. I hear USPS still uses those…;)

  2. My dog ate my homework. I lost my book. :( Okay, really, my book has not arrived yet either! I’ll catch up as soon as I get it! Can’t wait! :)

  3. Loved this book! It will definitely be a reread for me at some point. The whole first chapter felt eerie because I couldn’t believe someone had put into words exactly how I’d felt my WHOLE life!! Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts on this. :)

  4. okay, Emily. Way to hit it out of the park with this one! I can so identify as someone who is chasing after this phantom “good” Christian, wife, mom. Like you, Aub, I think I’m in process and growing in freedom but that stinkin’ phantom chases me around and will not go away! I think my fear of what others think combined with the idea that displaying my needs might make me appear selfish (or that I would be a burden) really keeps me from close relationships. I desire to grow in this even more and learn to lead in love…by Christ’s example. Can’t wait for the next chapters!

  5. Hello Friend! I am so glad you are in! It’s pretty unreal how amazingly true this book is, huh? I know that phantom too. Annoying. But I know there is so much more freedom in letting it go. And just being. I always appreciate when you open up to me. I love hearing your heart. No burden here, my friend! Can’t wait to hear more from you:)

  6. No worries! Check in when you’re ready! I’m so glad you are joining Jaim!

  7. Seriously, I know! That is how I felt. There is so much there to think through. I don’t even know if a second time will be enough!

  8. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts my friend! I know you will add so much!

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