Hello! Today we are jumping into Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. For next several Thursdays we will be discussing the book. I would love to hear your thoughts, what you are learning about yourself, what you are being challenged by as you read. This is my second time reading through and I love how I am catching new things. I’m excited to see how God will use this book in each of our lives.
So let’s go!
There were SO MANY good things that caught my eye and pulled on my heart strings in the first chapters. If it is possible I would describe myself as a “in process” good girl. I think much of what was explained in the good girl ways is where I used to be but I am slowly climbing out. Or at least I see it now, where before I was oblivious to the following:
- Always worrying.
- Always performing for others.
- Always getting lost in what others wanted from me, expected of me.
- I was insecure on the inside but on the outside I was easy going and a “good girl”.
- I didn’t know who “me” really was because I was a different person for different people.
- I always felt the need to “just try harder”.
- I was not living to please Him but others. Many others.
And the list could go on and on. It was tiring to keep up with it all. And it was a crazy maker. Therefore, I came to a point where it all needed to stop. I wanted to be 100% Me for Him. No one else.
Over the last several years I can say that my ways have changed a bit. My mind is more focused on an audience of One than everyONE. I fight those “try harder” lies and performance lies with His good and pure truth. Like a strong cup of coffee I soak in the truth that He is enough, more than enough. I don’t need to DO anything, try harder, be a certain person, always have it together to make Him or others love me more. Just be 100% me.
Now I haven’t arrived or anything like that. I still easily fall back into the performance trap. Wanting to be the best wife, mom, friend, Christian, neighbor, daughter, sister there ever was. Wanting to have it all together, at all times. It’s exhausting, I tell you! But when I feel the pull to go down that road I recognize it quicker now. I know the pattern and I know it doesn’t work. It’s a crazy maker more like it. I steer myself back to the truth. Because I know I am not believing truth in the moment. I am being driven by fear. Fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of not looking a certain way, fear of messing up.
I love how Emily said: (pg.19)
But love leads.
When I feel that out of control feeling, when I am just going, going, going and I don’t even know why or where? I know it is out of fear. I don’t want to stop going out of the fear of failure, disappointment, ruining my reputation that more than anything is built up in my head. This fear is a driving force that will eventually take me out. But when I think of being led in love there is a confidence that is almost indescribable. I walk with assurance. I am known fully and the pressure is gone. Like a good cup of strong coffee I soak in the truth.
ahhhh….it is good.
I want to stay in this place of surrender to Him and not to everyone and everything else. But it takes discipline and time to re work those lies and those patterns to stay in His truth.
What do you think? What does being a good girl look like for you? Are you being driven by fear or lead in love?
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts! Let’s chat…